When Procrastination Is Arguing With God
I was scrolling through some 250 comments posted in Liz Strauss’s recent “open mic” forum about procrastination. Many comments are about the roots of procrastination, and they cover all of what I have in the past told myself about the roots of my own procrastination: fear of failure, perfectionism, monotonous tasks, etc. All of those reasons once rang true for me but do no longer.
They do not ring true because of what Byron Katy has taught me about “following the simple directions” and because of a turquoise box, a symbol that something more is at work than what I have habitually told myself. The box was a lidded plastic container that held my winter driving gear when I lived in the mountains of Pennsylvania: snap-on snow chains, windshield scraper and de-icer, road salt.
I took the box out of the trunk, where it usually lived, and placed it at the edge of my driveway one April day when I needed trunk space. It sat there until the first snow the following November. On most days for eight months I walked past it several times, thinking, “Put that box back in the trunk.” But I didn’t do it.
There was no fear of failure or perfectionism involved and, although putting a box in a trunk might qualify as a monotonous task, it would have taken only seconds.
In a previous post about following the simple directions that spring to mind (such as “put that box back”), I quoted Byron Katy,
If it comes to you to do something, just do it. All the unquestioned thoughts about that action are how you hurt yourself. Doing what’s next, without a mental argument, is devotion to God.
It now appears that the root of my procrastination is not what I once thought it was, but is instead childish and egoic arguing with God. “Put that box back in the trunk.” “You can’t make me.”
Tags: Byron Katy, ego, fear of failure, God, perfectionism, procrastination
Dick, I love this “procrastination is arguing with god”. I think that will stick with me for a long time. I deal with my procrastination all the time and when I finally get done that thing that I have been procrastinating about, I think “now, why did that take so long to get to. I wasted so much energy just thinking about it and avoiding it.” I am learning that so much of the peace in my life comes from quieting my mind and just doing what is in front of me.
Rinatta — I like the connection you made between procrastination and “peace of mind” – another big theme of mine. So let’s see…procrastinate, beat myself up for procrastinating, continue procrastinating, continue beating…no peace of mind there.